So you made your life's dream come true, and you took off your yacht. How do you make your own stay in a confined space as comfortable as possible and not ruin your relationship with the crew? Here are a few simple rules.
Treat the yacht like your home.
Are you a hardened bachelor, put your socks in the corners, eat dumplings off a sheet and blow your nose on a tablecloth? Then forget it's not a rule for you.
Respect the crew
Slavery was abolished a long time ago, and these guys are working here for fair wages.
You don't take extra things.
Does your wife put a dozen evening dresses, a coat in her third suitcase in case of unexpected cold weather and a few pairs of shoes? Explain to her that the Caribbean Sea is not below +20 even in January. You won't be needing shoes either - read the rule number below. There is simply no room for bulky luggage on a yacht. Put everything in a small soft bag or take a ticket for a cruise liner.
Go to .
Many boats have a rule: no shoes in the salon. Others offer to take their shoes off already on deck. And absolutely no boat will allow you to walk around in shoes on spike heels or boots on a black sole that leaves stripes - shred a delicate teak coating. In short, before the cruise on the yacht it will be useful to visit the pedicures of the master. God forbid, damage the deck with unburnt nails.
Smoke at the stern.
Of course, it's better not to smoke at all, but if you do, smoke on the stern or the windward side so the smoke doesn't interfere with others. In most cases, smoking on deck is allowed. Sometimes there are designated areas for that. But smoking is almost always forbidden in the saloon.
The galley is sacred.
It's like an altar in a Christian church. The laymen like you have nothing to do there. If you have something to eat in the middle of the night, first remember that you spend the whole vacation wearing a swimsuit or a bikini. If you still want to, use the mini fridge in the guest area - there you will find drinks and snacks.
There are no nannies among the crew.
If you take your children with you, be prepared to look after them yourself. Or take Mary Poppins.
Don't fraternize with the captain.
You shouldn't go to the captain and ask him to «marry Tagil». If you want to make contact, invite him to have dinner with you, but do not be offended by the refusal: the captain can have a lot of work to do. Americans tend to welcome informal communication with guests more than Europeans. You may not see the members of the European crew at all: they are perfectly proficient in the art of mimicry.
Don't stick around 24/7.
It's as stupid as spending the whole vacation on the hotel's grounds, swimming exclusively in the pool. When stopping at the marina, go out for a walk or buy some magnets on the fridge. Give the crew a chance to quietly clean your cabin, wash your laundry and check the internal systems of the yacht (Especially if the crew are Europeans! They will mimic in your presence!). If you are not drawn to the shore at all, then at least crawl out occasionally on a sundeck sunbathing. Or you'll have to sleep on dirty sheets all the way.
Do not invite guests without warning.
Did you meet a flock of charming aces while you were choosing a fridge magnet? Beware to drag them immediately to a party on «your fancy yacht». It's a good place to start by asking if there's enough champagne on board and if the chef has run out of oysters. Otherwise, you'll have to honor the pretty girls with a bagged tea with mold cheese from your last voyage (though it's Cheddar, not Dor Blue).
Do not disregard safety
Try to really get into the words of the crew members when they conduct a safety briefing on the yacht - yes, yes, about all these boring lifeboats and vests. No irony: it can save your life.
Don't play boss.
Only one boss on board is the captain. So make claims about not enough snow-white sheets and cold coffee, and do not indulge the guilty.
Don't break the law.
Maybe what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but a yacht is not Vegas for you. They're gonna turn it over to the authorities for illegal business. Nobody wants to lose their lyceum because of you.